The Modest Thoughts of a Jive Sucka

What must Jim Kelly think?

Patriots 2009 Schedule (you have got to be f****** kidding me).

All I know is, this kind of claptrap better stop come training camp.

I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that’s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine.

 - Gisele Bundchen on Tom Brady's son.

Not so tough after all...

Contrary to rumors, the Ravens are not expected to kick off the 2009 regular season at the defending Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers in the Thursday night season opener.

As part of their scheduling requests to the league, the Ravens asked not to play a prime-time game at Heinz Field this season, a team official told The Baltimore Sun.

The Ravens have played a nationally televised game at Pittsburgh for three of the past four seasons, including the past two years. The Ravens have never won a prime-time game at Pittsburgh, losing all four times.

It has become tradition that the defending Super Bowl champion opens the NFL season with a nationally televised game at home. There were rumors that the league would begin with Ravens-Steelers, a rematch of the AFC championship game.

The first games of the 2009 season -- the prime-time games for Thursday, Sunday and Monday nights -- are expected to be announced next week at the NFL owners meetings. The rest of the regular-season schedule is usually announced in April.

I did NOT see this coming.

Terrell Owens to join Buffalo Bills

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Controversial wide receiver Terrell Owens agreed to a one-year contract with the Buffalo Bills worth $6.5 million Saturday, just two days after being released by the Dallas Cowboys. The outspoken Owens, who has had run-ins with team mates on his three previous teams, caught 69 passes for 1,052 yards and 10 touchdowns last season, but the Cowboys were looking to improve the atmosphere in the locker room.

Holy Frick!

Patriots sign veteran RB Fred Taylor

The New England Patriots have announced the signing of free agent running back Fred Taylor.

FOXBOROUGH, Mass. - The New England Patriots signed veteran running back Fred Taylor today. Terms of the agreement were not disclosed.

“I have tremendous respect for Fred Taylor, both as a person and as a player whose production is outstanding,” said Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick. “I look forward to working with Fred as he joins the rest of our running back group.”

Taylor, 33, joins the Patriots after spending his first 11 seasons with the Jacksonville Jaguars (1998-2008). The 6-foot-1-inch, 228-pound running back has totaled 11,271 career rushing yards, placing him 16th on the NFL’s all-time career rushing list and third among all active players. Taylor has a career average of 4.64 yards per carry (11,271 yards on 2,428 attempts), placing him second among active players (Frank Gore, 4.73) and fifth all-time among the 24 players with 10,000 or more career rushing yards. He has averaged 97.4 yards from scrimmage per game over his career (13,362 yards in 140 games), ranking fifth among all active players. Taylor is the Jaguars’ all-time leader in rushing yards (11,271), yards from scrimmage (13,632), rushing touchdowns (62), overall touchdowns (70) and 100-yard rushing games (48). He has had 326 career rushes of 10 yards or longer, a total that leads all active players and ranks fifth all-time. In his 11-year career, the University of Florida product has played in 140 games with 136 starts, has recorded 2,428 rushes for 11,271 yards (4.6 avg.) and 62 touchdowns, and has caught 286 passes for 2,361 yards (8.3 avg.) and eight touchdowns. He earned his first career Pro Bowl selection in 2007.

OK... the Chiefs are getting on my last nerve.

Cassel sent to Chiefs

The New England Patriots sent Matt Cassel to the Kansas City Chiefs and a message to their own fans: Don't worry about Tom Brady's knee.

One question, though, remained.

How could the Patriots obtain only a second-round draft choice for a solid, young quarterback and a 12-year veteran leader, linebacker Mike Vrabel?

That mystery persisted Saturday after the Patriots announced the trade for the 34th pick in this year's draft, which the Chiefs earned with a franchise-worst 2-14 record.

Cassel, who hadn't started the previous seven seasons with Southern California and the Patriots, led New England to an 11-5 record, but no playoff berth, after Brady suffered a season-ending knee injury in the opener -- on a hit by Kansas City's Bernard Pollard, who said it was an "accident."

Cassel's steady improvement sent his stock soaring as he entered free agency. So the Patriots put the franchise tag on him, requiring any team that signed him to give them two first-round picks. But that tag would have cost the Patriots $14.65 million if they kept Cassel as insurance if Brady's health was questionable.
By shipping him out so early, they must be sure that 2007 NFL MVP Brady will be ready for the regular season after undergoing surgery for torn ligaments in his left knee on Oct. 6 and a later operation for an infection in the knee.

AHH FAHK!!!

Vrabel trade confirmed

When reached via e-mail, Patriots outside linebacker Mike Vrabel confirmed that he has been dealt to the Kansas City Chiefs, as first reported by the NFL Network.

In response to an e-mail that asked, "Have you been traded to the Kansas City Chiefs?" Vrabel responded with a one-word answer: "Yes." And so ends his eight-year career with the Patriots, which includes three Super Bowl titles and the only Pro Bowl berth of his career, which came in 2007, when he had 12.5 sacks, the most by a Patriot since 1987 and the most by a Patriots player under coach Bill Belichick.

Vrabel, who will turn 34 in August, finished fifth on the Patriots in tackles last season with 67, according to coaches' calculations, but his sack number dropped to four. He also had an interception.

Vrabel denied rumors that he was hampered by a shoulder injury that was affecting his production.

Quick Hits

Hi all,

I have to admit, as Superbowls go, that was pretty seriously great. If you can't have your team in the big game then all you want is a great matchup and this one proved to be just that. James Farrior's 100 yard pick-6 was a thing of beauty and Santonio Holmes end zone catch was one of the best plays of the year (from the view I had I thought he was airbourne, but nope). The only real shenanigans to declare was the fumble call on Warner at the end. That sure looked like a forward pass to me. I know this because, as a Pats fan, I'm VERY familiar with the Tuck rule and that appeared to be a pretty good example of it. I posted some food that I made on the food blog so if you want to check that out go nuts. Pretty no frills fare, but delicious nonetheless. Here are some quick hits.

1) In case you want to lose a few pounds from the Superbowl food you ate, you could always try Star Wars Yoga.

2) How to make homemade ice cream without an ice cream maker.

3) The first review for Resident Evil 5 is in. Five out of five. Noice!

4) Normally I don't give a horse's patoot about the Superbowl commercials, but NBC's promotion for Heroes was absolutely cringe inducing.

5) I Bang the Worst Dudes is a site in which women can upload photos/descriptions of the biggest douchebags they've doinked over the years. I love stuff like this.

6) If you eat enoki mushrooms (and you probably don't) you may want to put them down for awhile. There's a recall after reports of the mushrooms containing listeria came out, and listeria is no joke. Listeria will blow the asshole clean off a billy goat.

7) Here are the DVDs coming out tomorrow.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist
The Secret Life of Bees
Zack and Miri Make a Porno

Maybe, no, maybe. Have a listen to Rose Marie by Slim Whitman (man, I love Slim Whitman). 

AB

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